Empty

I ate normally for a few days, fuck that I felt huge. I was 154 yesterday, still wayy to high. I need to motivate myself so if I get into the 140's and stay there for a week I'm going to buy a tanning package, I love tanning. I'm pale as fuckk right now and I look horrible. I'm not one of those girls that look good pale, I look like I'm dragged out and tired all the time, zombie like.

I went to my parents yesterday and I don't know why but they love to make me eat, even though I'm huge. I'm so weak, I gave in, then of course I couldn't stop. So on my way home I stopped into a store, rented a movie, and got 2 bags of chips, cookies, cheesies and diet pepsi. I purged it all. I hate purging but when it comes back I find it so hard to stop. I wish I was strong enough to just not eat but I'm so weak. After I purge I feel so calm and better. Empty.

I haven't had anything to eat today and I plan on keeping it that way. I need a fasting day. I'm gone to catch up on the blogs I follow.

Skinny thoughts lovas xo