And you can't fight the tears that ain't coming

So I've been thinking about breaking up with my boyfriend. He's such an ass sometimes, it drives me crazy.
On a better note, I've been good so far today, I'm gonna fast today, maybe tomorrow. I want to lose 15 lbs this month. I need to. I need to get back on track. according to losertown, if I eat 500 calories a day I will be 136lbs by march 28th.

I'm so weak. I'm so stressed out lately so I've been stuffing my face every chance I get. I wish I was one of those people who can't eat when they're upset or stressed and lose a lot of weight, but I'm the opposite, I eat eat eat and get fatter. FML.

Today is a new day, think skinny lovers xo

Ugh

So I've been bingeing again, no purging though.But I need to stop, haven't stepped on the scale but my boyfriend mentioned that I looked bigger last night. Ugh I think I was in denial, telling myself I don't look any bigger but obviously I do. I really need to get my shit together. I've had 80 cals today. Gonna keep it as low as possible.

Stay strong ladies, stronger than I am xo

Empty

I ate normally for a few days, fuck that I felt huge. I was 154 yesterday, still wayy to high. I need to motivate myself so if I get into the 140's and stay there for a week I'm going to buy a tanning package, I love tanning. I'm pale as fuckk right now and I look horrible. I'm not one of those girls that look good pale, I look like I'm dragged out and tired all the time, zombie like.

I went to my parents yesterday and I don't know why but they love to make me eat, even though I'm huge. I'm so weak, I gave in, then of course I couldn't stop. So on my way home I stopped into a store, rented a movie, and got 2 bags of chips, cookies, cheesies and diet pepsi. I purged it all. I hate purging but when it comes back I find it so hard to stop. I wish I was strong enough to just not eat but I'm so weak. After I purge I feel so calm and better. Empty.

I haven't had anything to eat today and I plan on keeping it that way. I need a fasting day. I'm gone to catch up on the blogs I follow.

Skinny thoughts lovas xo

Good

I was good again today, ate 500 calories total and I'm eating some watermelon now so I'll end the day with around 600 calories. Not bad. Tomorrow I may go up to 700 then 500 the next and then a fast.

I was 155 this morning, one lb down but 5 away from where I was. One day at a time. I'm motivated to get back where I was. I was looking at pictures of myself from not that long ago and all I kept thinking is how the fuck did I end up here ugh. It is what it is and it will get better.

I believe in thin ! Skinny thoughts lovas xo

Finally

Finally a good day. Finally I feel empty again. I missed this feeling.
I had 390 calories for the day. I will be strong again tomorrow, I can do it.

Skinny thoughts everyone xx
I'm going to weight myself in the morning, update then

I cannot wait until I can post my before and after pictures -_-

Fuck me

156.

Fuckkkkk. Can't stop bingring.

Starting tomorrow 500 cal diet. That's it. If I eat any more than that I'll purge it.

Time to get real here.

Skinny thoughtss xx

Update

Still here, still doing shit. Eating has been shit, work has been shit.

Anyways I got a new treadmill, back on track tomorrow, debating whether to do SGD or ABC diet.
I haveee to do something.